Breaking the Silence

The secret of my Fibromyalgia is out.
I was asked to do a testimonial for the Chiropractor that I have been working with for my Fibromyalgia.

There was some confusion about what they wanted. Andrew was sick the day they asked me, so I just got asked over the phone, instead of in person at the office. I was (mistakenly) told it would be a 30-second clip. I was not even planning on using my name!! They filmed me unscripted and we ended up with a six minute video clip.

The doctor's wife, asked me a few questions before we filmed and then would say, "Oh, say that part". She convinced me to discuss some things that not many people know. She wanted me to give examples of symptoms and how much better I am now. Most of the other patients that did testimonials are done with their treatments. I am still going three times a week. I can see great improvement, but I couldn't tell her that I was all better. I have had that conversation with Dr. Kingston many times. I say I'm doing better, he takes new x-rays and tells me I'm not better. I think of better as a comparison, he thinks of better as cured and ready to end treatments. For example, one of my symptoms was I had headaches 100% of the time, now I have headaches 40% of the time. Better right? Better but not better enough. He can see improvements, my newest x-ray last week shows lots of improvement, but the doctor told me it was still worse than some of his patients just starting the program. When I started the program and physical exercises fifteen months ago, my doctor told me that if I didn't do anything different (and this program luckily is different), I would be in a wheelchair within a year. That was not a surprise to me, I already knew that! I had already been teaching my children to show love to everyone, even people in wheel chairs. I knew they needed prepping for what I felt was coming. When I started I had a reverse curve in my neck which put a lot of pressure on my spinal cord and caused the headaches, pain, numbness, vision problems, the list goes on and on. All symptoms of fibromyalgia. I’m in the healing process and I don’t think of every holiday or event as my last anymore.

Fibromayalgia has so many different symptoms that it makes it hard to diagnose. For this reason they wanted lots of patients to give part of their story so someone looking for their own answer could identify with one of us. Hoping to help someone else, I agreed to do the testimonial even though they were asking for way more than 30-seconds. I understand and have lived through almost every story on the testimonial page. I feel like all of the "before" quotes in the main video could have applied to me, they just said it better than I did. I am still working my way to their "after" quotes. I'll say that maybe this is "just as good as I get" and it’s lots better then where I was (see I use comparison all the time), so I'll live with this. My doctor won't accept that, and keeps pushing me. Lee and the kids are a great support and fill in the gaps of everything I can’t do. I hope that someday I’ll even be able to get off my medications. I want to feel 100% better. I will get there.

I asked Dr. Kingston to let me know when they were finished with the editing. He jokingly said something like he’d let me know before he linked it to my Facebook page. He knows this is a huge step for me. It has been a month since filming. This is not easy for me. I have kept this as a personal secret. After all, it is hard to share something that so many doctors have told me was just in my head. If doctors don’t believe me, why would family and friends believe me? I have gone back and forth many times about it, but finally decided I’m really going to post this. My Fibromyalgia secret. Not because I want sympathy, or I want to be a service project, or so I can complain and share my aches and pains. I am posting this because I am so grateful! Lee and I recognize how amazing everything fits together. The timing was perfect. In a priesthood blessing years ago, Lee blessed me with patience. A few hours later when we were in the waiting room at the ER we joked about misunderstanding being a patient. With hindsight, I can see that all eight of the other doctors I have worked with and tests I have done had a part in ruling out so many diseases and other chronic illnesses. Heavenly Father lead me here. I know that. Through the Atonement, Jesus Christ knows my pain and with Him I can overcome this. Alma 7:11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind…he will take upon him the pains and the sickness of his people.

Here is the new website. Fibroinovations.org